My Awakening by Meher Baba June 1992
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Meher Baba spoke to me

When Meher Baba first came to me, he came internally and He spoke in words that I could clearly hear. I sensed His subtle form standing right next to me.
(Meher Baba left His physical form in January l969

He said 'you are loved and you have always been loved'. These words made a deep impression on me. They touched the very core of my being. I felt the 'love' that the words conveyed.

His words went deeply into me and affected me profoundly

 

The Challenge

The next words were spoken during the following night.
I saw a curtain on an inner level being parted above my head and a beautiful Being dressed in white with a lovely face and dark bushy hair appeared. I saw Him as He is in the .painting above left. He was very authoritive, gave no name and spoke in a loud voice saying

'You need to go to Kashmir'.

Background

All my life I had been searching for that inner One I now know as Meher Baba.
I searched through religions and churches, meditation and mysticism and devoured new age teachings.
In the churches I searched for the 'real' Lord Jesus I knew existed and through mediation got a bit closer by moving inside myself to find Him. The new age therapies and teachings expanded my consciousness in wonderful ways.
I explored the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual make-up of myself as far as I could. I found many inner aspects that needed healing and attended workshops and courses to achieve this.
My intuition grew and developed. It was on one of these courses that the Master first came to me.
This was a complete surprise to me. He did not give me His name, but was very beautiful.

 
I learn about Kashmir

 

When I awoke in the morning I remembered His Presence and thought about Kashmir. Immediately I heard Him again telling me to 'look in the morning paper'. I did, and there were two full pages about Kashmir and its problems. This confirmed for me that I was not imagining things and that this was no dream.

Paradise on Earth
Later the same day, I was asked by one of the group participants on the course if I had had any dreams the previous night. I recounted the 'Kashmir' incident and she said immediately that I should go as it is 'Paradise on Earth' and that she had visited herself!

What was I to make of it? I had never travelled abroad alone before and never been to an eastern land nor had any desire to do so...I was assured that I would be perfectly safe as He would be taking care of me.


Havoc in Kashmir - Militant extremists were causing havoc in Kashmir, the capital Srinegar was under curfew, the Indian army was in residence along every street trying to keep the peace. This was a very scary scene.

On returning home I tried to put it all out of my mind and get on with my life.
The inner One, however, had other ideas and I was given information of other places to visit and later a vision of the most important place to visit, a tower with a white dome on top!

I was being asked by an inner One who was so beautiful and whose Presence and voice affected me so deeply to travel to an eastern land with a terrifying war going on!

I began to feel that this inner One was so special and lovely that I would go anywhere and do anything for Him.
The plan falls into place
I find out who the inner One is

One evening a couple came to the door of my cottage asking to stay the night. (we ran a guest house at the time). They were going to India to the Meher Baba Pilgrim Centre. I had never heard of Him but expressed an interest to visit out of curiosity. I was given a small book called 'Welcom Home' giving directions and places of interest. On the front cover was a picture of the white dome which matched the inner vision previously given! This was the tomb shrine of Avatar Meher Baba. I now knew who the inner One was. I knew nothing about Him, yet His Presence within me was so strong that I went on this magical journey with Him.
Kashmir

I stayed in a spacious houseboat with a cook, houseboy and 'chief' to take care of me. I was taken on picnics, boat rides and to visit gardens and villages. I was totally dependent on Meher Baba. At night a fear came over me as the shooting sounded very near. At one point I was taken out of the car at gunpoint. Despite this, the beauty of Kashmir could be described as paradise on earth.
The beginning of my awakening by the Awakener

Within myself a tremendous upheavel was taking place. I was deprived of people, places and belongings and everything familiar - I could only put my trust in Him. I could feel His Presence and in the silence of this beautiful place I began to feel the cleansing and purifying love of Meher Baba flowing through me. He opened my heart and cleansed the debris of lifetimes. His love was so divine and beautiful it flowed through me like a stream and I could sense and feel a breaking down within. His love was like nothing I had ever experienced before, wave after wave of it passed through me.